Is Pain Affecting Your Sex Life?

Read On For How To Free Yourself From Physical Pain Into A New Realm Of Intimacy
Do you experience physical pain? Is this stopping you from being intimate with your partner? Is your relationship being affected by this change in intimacy? Are you fearful or unhappy due to all of this? Are you getting frustrated by trying to maintain a healthy sex life? Many of the millions individuals who suffer with back pain will experience this.

If this is true for you or someone you know, please continue reading for my great tips ways to alleviate this pain, reconnect with your partner and bring happiness back into your life.

Firstly, I want to reassure you that you are not alone in feeling this way. Chronic pain can lead to sexual problems and when you’re in pain; the last thing you probably want to do is be intimate with your partner. However, a key component to healing this aspect of your life is to remember the importance of remaining close to your loved one. A healthy, intimate relationship can positively affect all aspects of your life. And a healthy and healed body can make a big shift in this important area of your life as an opportunity to welcome a deeper level of intimacy.

back pain

The good news is that back pain doesn’t have to mean no sex, though it may mean taking a different approach to lovemaking, which can be a good thing for your relationship. The first important step is to get a back pain diagnosis from your doctor or health care professional. Remember that sexuality is an integral part of normal, healthy relationships. So I am always happy to answer any questions about how a specific back condition might affect it and the greater impact on your life, for you to follow the advice to take forward.

And I have some great tools below that will reassure you and help you to take the next steps towards healing from your pain.

Many people living with pain often have fears about sexuality and intimacy with their partners. I have tips below for the 3 biggest fears:

Fear of rejection by a partner: It is so common for people with chronic pain to feel that their partner is no longer interested. You may wonder if a partner is less attracted to you because you are in pain.

Tip 1: Share your feelings and fears with your partner and listen to your partner’s concerns and be open to accept support. Communication is critical and will help address anything unspoken to reach a resolution. This is so important otherwise, one partner may mistakenly interpret a reluctance to engage in sexual activity as an excuse for not wanting to be close, which can lead to feelings of rejection and resentment, which can then spill into other aspects of the relationship. Be open and clear so your partner can understand what you’re experiencing.

Fear of pain associated with sex: It is natural to worry that sexual intercourse will cause you more physical pain, especially if you’re already in pain from movement.

Tip 2: You can address this concern by experimenting with different positions that are more comfortable. Depending on your specific pain, where it is and how it progresses, it’s very important to understand what position is better for you and which position could cause more harm. For example, if it is painful to bend forward, positions arching your back may be more suitable. Whereas if it is painful to bend backwards, positions lying on your back and bringing your hips towards your chest may help. The use of pillows under your head, back and stomach (if lying on your front) is also an important tool in getting comfortable. Also, remember to keep everything slow and gentle as any movements that hurt should be avoided or consider light touch to start or a shower to relax your body before.
Please consult with me if you have any questions surrounding this, as it’s vital to use these tools to aid healing, not facilitate pain. Please Note: Never “push past the pain” as this can make your pain a lot worse!

Sad couple having an argument

Fear of failure to perform: Pain, depression, medications and alcohol can all affect sexual performance or the ability to get aroused or have an orgasm. Sometimes, failure or difficulty to perform is caused by stress and anxiety. In addition, physical pain is a huge component of stimulating stress in your body, so it can feel like a ‘Catch 22’.

Tip 3: It’s important to reduce the tension and create an atmosphere where neither you or your partner feel rushed. In many cases, patience and understanding can help in overcoming performance problems. Stress management and learning to listen to what triggers your pain is important for healing and also finding the right comfort to break through the barriers that are causing anxiety within you. Start with a simple relaxation technique, such as to lie on your back and begin with slow deep breathing for a few minutes; this helps calm your anxiety, relax your body & mind and increase oxygen levels.
If you suspect a medication may be affecting your sexual performance consult your GP.

My last tip: Try to enjoy this new phase of exploration with your partner. Just because back pain may limit one’s physical abilities, it doesn’t have to limit sensuality. Trying new positions can be a rewarding journey of exploration that leads to a new intimacy between partners. Never underestimate the power of candlelight and soft music to create a relaxing and comfortable ambience. The negative effects that pain has been causing in a couple’s sex life can sometimes spill over into other aspects of the relationship. Therefore, being able to restore healthy sexual relations will lower stress, and lower stress often leads to less pain. The ultimate combination:
Personalised Advice + Happiness + Fulfilment = Less Stress = Less Pain.

Female-Pain-sex

Send me your thoughts after you read through. I would love to hear your thoughts and how this has affected your life and relationship.

I look forward to seeing you soon.

All my Best,

Manjot 🙂

Advertisements
Standard

My Magical Top 4 Stress Relievers – Immediate, Soothing & Effective

Nearly 90% of my patients deal with high levels of stress in their lives, and eventually it stores in their body. One of the main factors I work in a lot of depth with my patients is STRESS! Beginning as a fight-or-flight response, stress manifests in your body in many ways, originating from the adrenals, the stress hormones produced essentially go on over-drive, causing a response in your body that not only disrupts your balance, but when put on re-play, it causes upheaval in all of your internal systems including your muscular-skeletal system!

When the first thing my patient says is: “I’m not sleeping well”, “I feel overwhelmed” or “I don’t know where to begin” alongside the moment I place my hands on an incredibly tight upper back, neck, scalp or diaphragm; I know my patients are in need of support, relaxation and personalized advice– all of which contributes to the ultimate magical treatment.

So here are my top 4 stress-relieving tips: The first 3 provide a basic rule to apply and number 4 is full of wonderful goodness!

1.   The love-hate relationship most people have is with breathing exercises! Nice, slow deep breaths in the morning and throughout the day is an easy stress reliever that not only relaxes you but will allow you to inhale more oxygen so your body including muscles will feel better! So with patience, calmly count to 3 before inhaling through your nose down from your diaphragm and slowly exhaling from your mouth. Try this every morning and evening for a week and you’ll notice a difference.

2.   In an age of zero-patience and noise everywhere it’s difficult to find that alone time to truly zone out of the check-list constantly being edited in your mind and hone in on your mind’s silence. That’s why I go through specific guided meditation sessions with my lovely patients, promoting healthy benefits! But fear not, here’s a good tip to try self-meditation in your life. Trying to think of nothing is easier said than done so a simple basic tip is to sit quietly in a comfortable position, wearing loose clothing and close your eyes. Allow your thoughts to float through your mind, but don’t focus on them, let them pass by not engaging…then…let them go. Remember, magic is created from your thoughts.

3.  Your physical condition is vital to the way stress is produced and manifests in your body. A massive stress-reliever is physical exercise! A simple stroll or jog outside can not only distract you from the check-list of worries, it acts as an outlet and a “pick-me-up” releasing a burst of happy hormones such as endorphins! Psychologists also confirm that taking a walk acts as a form of self-therapy, mimicking some forms of therapy, as it activates both sides of the brain, relaxing and rationalizing thoughts. So indulge yourself in a magical brisk walk in the open air, inhaling deep breaths and exhaling so-long to your stress.

4.  The magical and ultimate combined self-stress-relieving treatment: start by to lighting a calming scented candle or spritz your favourite perfume. Smell trigger memories, so pick your favourite scent! Continue with a good piece of dark chocolate, this has been shown to decrease stress and anxiety. I always recommend Green & Black’s 70% dark chocolate and go onto having a nice warm bath with relaxing music, scented bath oil or epsom salts to increase lymphatic drainage for relaxing tired, tight and achy muscles. Whilst indulging in the bubbles, let your mind drift away from the thoughts crowding your mind. Progressing past this, pop on the kettle and make a nice hot brew of herbal tea, chamomile and lavender is my favourite and follow through by the much researched cuddle therapy! That’s right, snuggle up to a cosy cuddle with your partner, child or even a friend! Not only does this measurably reduce stress, but it sends calming messages throughout your body. Most importantly, switch off all electronic goods (yes that means your phone, ipad or laptop), calm your mind with some gentle deep breathing to prepare your body for an early & good night’s sleep…ZZzzz

And there you have it! My top 4 magical methods and tips to start the de-stressing and creating time to become more mindful of your thoughts, habits, actions and life to lead you towards a calmer you! Try them out and post below to let me know how you got on with them 🙂

Standard